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Why We Stress- And The Simple Way NOT To.

Stress.

The dubious figure who it seems like we all know far too well these days. Whether it be about our health, our futures, our circumstances, or social, personal, or political issues, we all stress- far, far too much. There are many universal truths in the world, like the fact that the world is round and that water is wet (let's face it folks, it is...), yet more and more I get the sense that the newest overwhelming truth is stress.

Let me just start by saying that it is OK to stress. It's actually perfectly human and animal, and in many circumstances it can be what saves your life (reference the fight or flight response). Second, this isn't going to be a scientific article. It's going to be one that hits your heart, not your brain- so just fair warning.

Personally, I was always a really stressed out kid. I constantly worried about being perfect- literally. Like so much so to the point that I got mad when I had a 101% in a class instead of a 102%. Yes, it was very trivial, but let me make my point. 

I had no concept whatsoever of how to just accept things. I was not someone who went with the flow. I blamed myself for everything that went wrong, even things that were out of my control. It rained and I got my new white shoes wet? Man was I pissed. I didn't get to answer a question in class? Don't even get me started. I was miserable, and it wasn't getting any better

Eventually I just got to the point that I couldn't take it anymore. Here I was this successful kid who teachers and parents loved, but I was so unhappy. I was playing golf pretty religiously at the time, and it only added to my stress. I was really lucky to get to play with a lot of really special professionals and famous people, but I never really enjoyed it. I got to win tournaments and be on top, but it meant nothing to me. I wasn't present in the moment. I was just chasing something, I didn't even know what.

I was so lost in my head- what many life gurus and I like to call a "mental rabbit hole". I just kept going deeper and deeper into confusion (I feel like I'm getting off topic here as I go into a bit of a rabbit hole reminiscing about this... how ironic).

When I was at rock bottom- yeah, I just admitted I hit rock bottom. big deal people, embrace the struggle- I finally found it. I said to myself, "You know what John, what's your problem? Aren't you doing what you want with your life? Like everyone thinks your perfect, so why are you so unhappy man??" And that second question hit home. 

I wasn't doing what I wanted with my life. I was trying to live the dream life of some fairy tale figure who I was not. The real me didn't want to play golf. The real me didn't want to worry about the difference between a high and low A. Deep down my soul was crying out for some peace, some time to just not stress. It was crying out for acceptance. 

I realized that stress was in fact OK. I realized that I didn't have to be perfect in school. I realized that I didn't have to live up to some false, heavily photoshopped and over-idealized version of my life.

Sitting there crying I realized that the goal in life is not to be rich, popular, famous, beautiful, sexy, whatever. I realized that the goal in life is to be happy!

At this point you'e probably like, seriously dude? Obviously, a five year old could've told me that. But that's the point. Us as humans are SO stubborn. We keep doing what we are doing and just expect to get better results. We are too afraid to face or fears and change our ways of thinking. Change is different, and it is really, really scary. But change is also good. 

When I hit rock bottom I finally realized to accept- accept that I'm going to be stressed, and worried, and upset, and mad, and heartbroken, and many unpleasant things. That's just the reality of life. The REALITY. Not some made up fairy tale like the one I had in my head.

Fast forward about nine months now, and here I am in a much better mindset. Some things I've picked up along the way? Photography- I never knew I had an artistic side, as I always assumed that art made people weak. I didn't want to show my emotional side and my inner soul- but photography taught me how, and showed me that it was OK. Fitness- I always wanted to feel proud of my inner self. I used to think that I had to fit some image, which is what I feel like many people struggle with (AKA body image). But I just said "You know what? I am who I am. And that's good enough." I accepted my body, my health, and found self-confidence and worth in my journey to nourish my mind, body, and soul.

I learned to meditate, and I learned to be open to ideas. I love alternative medicine like acupuncture. I used to think that such things were weird and for weak people. Boy was I wrong. I was raised Roman Catholic and had this inner belief instilled in me by MYSELF- NOT anyone else- that I had to be a certain way. When I learned about different cultures, I found that we are all beautiful in our own ways. 

I found that we all deserve to be happy in our own, unique ways. We all have a story to tell, and that story is something to embrace and be proud of. No matter your religion, race, sexual preference, physical appearance, or if you have a disability, you deserve to live an equally fulfilling life as we all do.

Stress is a very dubious thing. But the best way not to stress- is to accept it. Accept the uncertainty. Accept that it's OK if everything fails and doesn't go as planned. There is a plan for your life, and you are destined to achieve greatness- on your own terms. No matter how old you may be, or how sad, you are great, and you have a great, wonderful, exciting purpose in life. 

Chase your dreams and make them your reality.

Trust the process. Live in the moment.

Everyday you wake up, think of why you are grateful.

You are great, and you can do it.

JD3 out.

#RocketFuel #KeepUP










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